Off the edge of despair
by Lily Maxwell The Dark Angel
Summary: “Why must you give me hope just when I had finally decided what I wished for myself?” Miharu/Yoite


_**Off the edge of despair**_

_**By Lily M.**_

He didn't really expect it to be so dark.

Like one big hall buried in darkness, with no idea where you came from, and where you could go. The walls, he didn't even know if they existed. A shapeless world, so void it almost took the courage out of him.

He tried to look at his hand – and to his surprise, it was visible. Visible as anything could be within this place. Like there was some sort of spotlight above him, to guide him. To be within the darkness, but still hope to not get lost? He didn't know.

He started to walk. With no idea where he was heading, he still searched. Looking to his left, and to his right, searching for another source of light. At one point he ran. He ran before he could even think of giving up.

He found him.

Curled up, hugging himself. He looked so fragile, as if in contrast with the menacing aura he always seemed to give out on other occasions. The white shirt almost seemed too bright, and his hands – so pale. He was smaller, but still, he kept the same customary position; hugging his knees to his chest, head bowed and face hidden from view.

He reached out, and tried to touch him.

He looked up, and with wide eyes, seemed to want to flee.

"No, wait!" He called out, crouching to try and be on his eye-level. "Please don't run."

The other boy kept an arm around himself and another covering his mouth.

"It's okay," he said, and smiled.

But one didn't really smile in this world – instead his intention was to pass on a feeling of reassurance, of serenity. He wanted to take the negative feelings that seemed to linger all around them and turn it into something else. It was overwhelming. It was devastating.

Still, he smiled.

"Let me help you," he spoke in a soft tone. A tone he had never, ever thought he possessed. A tone he never, ever thought he would use, because that would mean he cared about something, and he never really…

"You can't." The voice was so different, yet so familiar. The words were spoken with the same dismissing attitude he always used, but that voice… It was lighter and sweeter, and he thought that it wasn't just time and nature that made it change, but he somehow tried to get rid of it himself. He tried to never sound so broken.

"Yes, yes I can," he said, and he knelt before him, taking his hand. "Please let me help you, Yoite. I can change everything, just…"

"Please grant me my wish."

The negativity almost took control of him. Sorrow, desperation. No, no. It was wrong, it was all wrong.

"Please don't ask me that."

They both looked like they would cry. Why did he have to fail at the one thing he ever wanted? He pulled him, he held him. One soul connecting with another, one desperately trying to reach out and the other desperately trying to pull away. But feelings so alike, it hurt, it hurt so much on both of them.

"Miharu…" The pale one seemed to cry.

"Why won't you accept my feelings for you?!"

Broken. His heart was broken. He had swore to himself he would never voice it, so why? Desperation. Desolation. Despair. He did not want to see the one thing he ever cared for walk away from him. He wanted to grasp that hand, and never let go.

"Why must you give me hope just when I had finally decided what I wished for myself?"

Strong words. He backed away just slightly to stare into that soul. That soul that almost seemed to fade away within the darkness. Such a soul could still pronounce such strong words. He could not reply. He could not move.

What did he really have to offer? What sort of empty promises? What sort of future? He didn't even know the other that well, he didn't even know _himself_. He felt so cold. He felt like he couldn't even breathe. The other presence seemed to touch him, but he paid it no mind.

Broken. His heart was broken.

-

When he opened his eyes, it took him a few seconds to adjust to the darkness of the room. Upon being able to recognize his surroundings, he could barely see those bright blue eyes looking back at him.

The other seemed to touch him, but he paid it no mind.

At that moment, he wished he had never read _Izuna Shingan._


End file.
